Instructor: Professor Gray Balls
Department: Observing and Thinking About Things
Office Location: The Internet
Office Hours: Anytime anyone, anywhere is watching a music video and wondering, “What’s really going on here?” That’s when office hours begin—and once they begin, it’s possible they may never end.
Course Description
Welcome to the first semester of Music Video Mystery School.
This course explores the strange possibility that music videos—those several-minute-long audiovisual spectacles scattered across the internet—may contain much more meaning than society typically gives them credit.
Through careful observation, philosophical curiosity, and the occasional over-interpretation, students will examine how music videos reflect:
- culture
- mythology
- symbolism
- emotion
- and the ongoing mystery of existence itself
No prior experience with philosophy is required.
Prior experience being a living being is strongly recommended.
Hidden Curriculum
While this course officially studies music video, its possible students may happen upon knowledge about themselves.
Required Materials
Students will need the following items in order to succeed in this course:
- An internet connection (and/or the ability to somehow obtain a vast collection of music videos and these posts in physical media form—and if you achieve this, please disclose your sources and methods immediately)
- A curiosity
- The desire to watch certain music videos more than once
- A tolerance for interpretive speculation
- Snacks
Class textbooks are the music videos, and these classes (like you're currently reading), and the upcoming Music Video Mystery School: Semester #1: Why Music Videos Though, text book. Coming to a physical realm near you.
Learning Objectives
By the end of this semester, students should be able to:
- Recognize hidden symbolism
- Notice cultural patterns
- Appreciate artistic ambition
- Question anything and everything
- Imagine—or design (maybe they’re the same thing)—a reality of your own ideal creation
Attendance Policy
Attendance is optional but encouraged.
Reality itself will be attending regardless.
Students are free to arrive late, leave early, rewind, or replay any class materials at any time.
Always.
Class Schedule
(Spoiler Alerts Ahead)
Class 1
Syllabus for Semester #1: Why Music Videos Though?
This is it. You're in class, reading it right now.
This entire first class is dedicated to syllabus examination so you'll know what to expect from now through final examination. Plus focusing soling on the syllabus for the first day of class is a classic teacher tactic to provide proof to you that I'm a cool teacher.
(I reckon this class isn't a spoiler since we're talking about the present now.)
(So now here's an alert for spoilers in the future, where they should be.)
Class 2
Intro to Semester #1: Why Music Videos Though?
Why music videos, though? What do they have to teach us about art, ourselves, each other, this existence, and how it all relates—and is it even worth thinking about in the first place?
Well… is it?
Let’s find out.
Assigned Viewing:
“Baby Shark Dance” by Pinkfong Dir: ??? (probably the Pinkfong kid's parents)
Class 3
Great Art / Bad Art > Okay Art
What makes great art, great?
What makes bad art, sometimes, great?
And why are both of those greater than art that is just okay?
And how do both of those correlate to leading a life that is great?
And what the heck is the point in labeling something great or bad when plenty of bad leads to great—and vice versa?
Assigned Viewing:
“Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” by Lil Nas X
Dir: Lil Nas X x Tanu Muino
“Miracles” by Insane Clown Posse
Dir: Paul Andresen
Class 4
10 Philosophies for Fave Music Vid Selection
How do we decide what music videos deserve our attention out of the sea of countless music videos in the endless ocean of music video options?
And why am I using aquatic metaphors?
Attend Class #3 for answers to the former.
Assigned Viewing:
Whatever music vids make it on to your own list of three (or more) faves.
Extra Credit:
Send your newfound fave list to your professor (Gray Balls).
Class 5
The 11th Philosophy for Fave Music Vid Selection:
Protectors vs Predators : Part 1 - Television
We'll talk TV and the ways it has promoted and prohibited fave music vid babies. We'll do this by focusing on one of fave music vid babies biggest protectors and predators: MTV.
Assigned Viewing:
Since it would be counterproductive to assign any viewing of MTV for any reason other than to demonstrate the Ridiculousness (show reference intended) of their non-music video related programing, this assigned viewing from this class on television will ironically not be on television but rather a TV like entity on the internet called MTV Rewind. The assignment: do some clicking around and watching, and save a video (or more) to your MTV Rewind playlist of faves by triple clicking the MTV Rewind logo when a video is playing that you are enjoying.
Class 6
The 11th Philosophy for Fave Music Vid Selection:
Protectors vs Predators : Part 2 - The Internet
We now have access to every music video ever made whenever we want'em. But the quality of the viewing experience is in danger from algorithm feed misleadings, to low standard audio/visual phone viewings, to Youtube fucking up endings of music vids with next-viewing option ads. Awareness and vigilance of options are the keys to transcend.
Assigned Viewing
Watch any of Vimeo's Staff Picks music videos.
Extra Credit:
Download one (or more) of the downloadable music videos on Vimeo to begin your own digital collection.
Class 7
The 11th Philosophy of Fave Music Vid Selection:
Protectors vs Predators : Part 3 : You, The Protector
There's one person that has the power to protect fave music vid babies forever, and their skeleton is inside your body right now.
Assignment:
The extra credit for last class is the assignment for this class.
Download one (or more) music videos to begin your own digital collection.
If you did the extra credit, download one (or more) vids to add to your collection.
Extra Credit:
Think about your music video watching entertainment setup.
How could you increase the quality of image, sound, and viewing comfort-ability for you and your loved ones?
Big Time Extra Credit:
Take action toward these entertainment setup quality enhancements.
Class 8
A Hypocritical Declaration of a Favorite Fave Music Video Baby
I mean, you gotta have an answer when someone asks what your favorite fave music video baby is… right?
Assigned Viewing:
“Pursuit” by Gesaffelstein Dir: Fleur + Manu
Class 9
The Monster in the Mirror: Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”
What can “Thriller” teach us about the media, monsters, and where Michael sits amongst them?
Assigned Viewing:
“Thriller” — by Michael Jackson Dir: John Landis
The Making of “Thriller” Dir: Jerry Kramer
“Bad” (full-length film) — Michael Jackson Dir: Martin Scorcese
“In the Closet” — Michael Jackson Dir: Herb Ritz
Additional Viewing:
Any and/or all other Michael Jackson joints.
Class 10
First Sexual Experience… with Music Videos
A personal tale of attraction to my first love/lust: music videos.
Assigned Viewing:
"Up All Night" by Winger Dir: Michael Bay
“Can’t Get Enough” by Winger Dir: Michael Bay
"I Love You" by Vanilla Ice Dir: Michael Bay
"Falling In Love (Is Hard on the Knees)" by Aerosmith Dir: Michael Bay
Additional viewing:
Any or all of Michael Bay's other music video work.
Even More Additional Viewing:
Michael Bay's film Pain & Gain. It has nothing to do with music videos or this particular class, I just like recommending it as my fave Mikey Bay joint.
(Caveat: I have not seen all Mikey Bay's joints. Ambulance could be cool.)
Class 11
The Batman's Arch Nemesis; Bruce Wayne — The Maestro of the Batdance
What can Prince's Batdance Music vid teach us about the Batman stories that have been flooding our zestiest for the past half century or so?
Assigned Viewing:
"Batdance" by Prince Dir: Albert Magnoli
"Partyman" by Prince (Extended Version) Dir: Albert Magnoli
Class 12
A Pep Rally for Anarchy: Nirvana — “Smells Like Teen Spirit”
An exploration of how music video watching can inspire liberation.
Assigned Viewing:
“Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana Dir: Samuel Bayer
Class 13
Final Exam for Semester #1: Why Music Videos Though?
(Big Time Spoiler)
The final exam for this semester is quite simple. It may even be an activity you do regularly.
Show a music video to a friend.
Talk about what thoughts and/or feelings it conjures.
Talk about how it may—or may not—relate to your experience of existence.
Then ask your friend to do the same. Either showing you a music video they feel called to share, or paying it forward to share with a different friend.
That concludes the exam.
But not the conversation.
Extra bonus credit: Send a recap of the conversation to your professor (Gray Balls).
Assignments
Students are encouraged to:
- Watch the assigned videos
- Notice details one might normally ignore
- Develop one's own interpretations
There are no wrong answers—only answers that are less entertaining than others.
Often, the questions are more interesting than the answers.
So even more important than getting the correct answers is asking the correct questions.
And there are no wrong questions—only questions that are less entertaining than others.
Extra Credit
Any time you alert the Music Video Mystery School staff (a.k.a. me, Professor Gray Balls) to potential fave music video babies—and the staff agrees in its favoritism—
You get extra credit.
Big time.
Academic Integrity Policy
(As voted on by the Music Video Mystery School board of directors—which is all me, Professor Gray Balls, yet again)
All interpretations presented in this course are speculative in nature.
All curiosity is to be pursued boldly.
Plagiarism only occurs when ideas are not properly filtered through one’s own consciousness.
If your studies divulge meanings to existence, please inform your professor immediately.
In Closing
Thank you for putting your precious attention into Music Video Mystery School.
Class will begin whenever you desire it to.
Homework
No homework for the first day of class.
This is a classic teacher tactic to provide proof to you that I'm a cool teacher.
Member discussion: